It's 1:30 in the morning. Knowing that tomorrow I will regret not sleeping early, I decided to blog to ease some burdens off my chest, lest I suffocate to death.
Lately, I have a lot in my mind that I feared I'm bout to lose my sanity. And everyday, I dread going to work. My performance at work is going downhill. I just lost the Oomph to work.
Just now as I lay in bed, listening to cheesy sentimental songs, I looked back at my life where I used to be energetic, hardworking, always pushing myself to the limit, persevere through "sleets and sleets of heavy rain and hail storms" and coming out half dead but alive, optimistic, etc etc etc. You get the picture. My assignments and reports always, if not, most of the time, came out top. Yet, now, writing a simple report seem to sap whatever little energy and life left in me. My mind automatically shuts down whenever I start writing a report. I will sit in front of my computer, fingers at the ready over my keyboard, but nothing came out. This has happen countless times.
Not only that, I just don't seem to want to do anything anymore. Going out seems to tire me easily. I turned down whatever outing my friends invited me to go. Even outings like going to the mamak for a chit-chat session. I just turned them all down. It's as though I'm floating through every day. Lost in transition. Can't find my footing.
I know not what to do with this "illness" of mine. No doctor could cure it I guess. And it's extremely frustrating to work in an environment where whatever you do earns you a good ticking off from your boss. That stupid bastard. That's probably one of the reasons why I slack at work, though I'm not gonna put the blame solely on that asshole him.
With all this problems, I'm beginning to turn to food for comfort. Yes, I'm starting to binge again. Shit.
*Sighhhhhhhhh*
I hope to return to my bubbly old self. Perhaps, the one thing I gotta do first is to stop listening to cheesy sentimental songs. They probably contribute to my being in a yo-yo state. Hence, this post.
*shakes head*
I think I had better stop. It's late and I'm working tomorrow. Hope to have a great week ahead. Goodnight everyone.
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